Too Late
“It’s too late for me” is something I’ve been hearing quite a bit in my world of relationship / Trauma bonding recovery. It’s sad to hear— especially when there’s a more empowering perspective there. We all want secure relationships, and if you’re a parent, of course we also want to know that we are doing […]
How Mom and Dad Impacted Your Relationships
If you are dealing with an insecure attachment, narcissistic/codependent relational dynamics, or anxious avoidant patterns…. YOU CAN BLAME YOUR PARENTS FOR THAT. (I’m half kidding here, by the way). Just here to let you know how common this is. Sometimes I think it’s the norm. Ever wonder why it’s so hard to shift? The answer […]
Shame Is The Main Hurdle In The Path Of Healing
In 2018, I remember hating what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Shame— that feeling of being “inherently bad inside” the feeling behind the reason people end their lives…. Is not something we are born with: It’s something we are born INTO. Like a fish being born into a fishbowl […]
The Impact of Unconscious Parenting on your Emotional Health (and life)
(3 minute read) As I’m now three years deep in the parenting game, I am noticing how parenting styles have shifted through the generations. When your parents were raised, the cultural conditioning was “spare the rod, spoil the child,” with parents taking on more of an authoritarian role. As a result of the wounding from […]
When Siblings Don’t Get Along
If you have a sibling, think of what it was like when you were younger and got into a conflict with them. How did your parents react to you? Taking sides, frustration, shaming, invalidation… Often not helpful in repair and resolution. I never really thought about any of this until Diana and I started noticing […]
How Co-Dependent Marriage Impacts Children
(4 min read) In the book “Laws of Human Nature” by Robert Greene, he summarizes in a beautiful way the focus of my life’s work: Think back to your younger self– growing up as a child (if you can remember it): In the first 3 or 4 years our brains are especially malleable. We experience […]
How to Help a Kid With Anxiety
Like millions of parents out there, Jenny had an anxious kid. The worst part of seeing our kids struggle with anxiety is the feeling of powerlessness we have. We just want them to know they’re going to be ok. “Calm down” “Take deep breaths” “don’t be anxious” are likely things your parents said to you […]
Violation
I remember the moment when I decided I was never going to invite my friend to stay over again. Our friendship had deepened over time. We would go out to the clubs to dance with the ladies. Sometimes we would double date. I was new to the city and my social circle was opening up. […]
The Willingness Of Imperfection (While On Daddy Duty)
Take a moment to reflect on how boundaries were modelled to you growing up. Were you punished for sharing them? Guilted into removing them? In my family system, they weren’t really taught to us elegantly. I’m not even blaming my parents, either. We can’t lead others where we have never been. In persian culture, it’s […]
Navigating Boundaries
Its official. As a general rule, we humans suck at boundaries. We either completely bulldoze over our boundaries to the point of abandoning ourselves dude to the fawn response, Or we are imprisoned by them and become reactive jerks. There’s an in between, and on this new “Manxiety” podcast episode with Dr. Russ Kennedy we […]